(2/3) *so Iâm glad that the relationshipâs ended (+ hopefully wonât start again since that would be bad for both of them.) adalind did a lot of bad things too to people he cared about (the people who had her do it are at to blame too) + nick helped take her baby + powers from her which means thereâs a lot of hate anger + mistrust between them. Not exactly the basis for a healthy relationship + I think after she took kelly heâs probably not going to trust leaving her alone with him. Her mother was also
(3/3) *also abusive given what Iâve seen of how she treated adalind, + that might have played a part in some of what she did. Doesnât excuse it tho. She also acted out on them when they took her baby + nobody was in the right there, given that they took her baby (even if we can understand WHY they still took her kid from her) and she acted out on them for it (which again, wasnât right but we can see why she did it, + she was desperate to have her child back.) the whole thing with adalindâs complicated
Well AnonâŚthere are a few things Iâd like to respond to here. Forgive me if this is a little incoherent, but you put a lot into those three asks and I want to make sure I touch on all of it at least a bit.
First, I think we all agree that it was perfectly reasonable for Nick to need time to deal with what was happening to Juliette. But hereâs the thing that so many people seem to forget, anon: he had time.
The scene where Juliette tells him what has happened to her, the scene where sheâs hurt that he canât even look at her, and the scene where she leaves are three completely different scenes with a lot of space and time between them. In the first, she isnât angry with him at all. Sheâs upset, fighting tears and visibly terrified. And Nickâs response to this isnât to tell her that he needs time to figure this out. He doesnât take the time to do even the bare minimum to communicate to the woman he claims to love that he isnât going to just desert her.
Instead, he just leaves her there. Crying, alone, in their shattered house where sheâs just been attacked. And it doesnât matter that she fended off that attack incredibly well. If a friend or loved one survived an attack and sent their attacker running, would you leave them completely alone and crying right after? I wouldnât, not under any circumstances. If I was too upset to stay with them, I would call another friend of ours to do so. What if Adalind had come back with reinforcements?
But Nick wasnât thinking about Julietteâs safety or her feelings, or whether this whole experience was traumatizing for her. The only thing that mattered to him in that moment was how he felt about the situation. And this isnât a special circumstance, either, something that can be explained by Nickâs trauma related to hexenbiests and a resulting fear of them (especially considering how easily he gets over that fear later, toward the actual source of his trauma no less).
No, Nickâs lack of concern for Julietteâs feelings or well-being is part of a pattern in their relationship that goes all the way back to season one, and that Juliette calls him out for when she does leaveâŚnot that he really seemed to listen to her and let what she was saying sink in. Then of course, he doesnât talk to her about it at all, not at any point. He talks to Hank instead, and basically forces her to tell their entire group of friends before sheâs ready.
Now before I get more into their relationshipâs messed-up dynamic, I wanna just toss out that a healthy relationship does NOT mean both partners always agree. That would be virtually impossible. A healthy relationship does involve mutual respect, support, and caring, and that is something that was definitely lacking in Nick and Julietteâs relationship. But I donât think itâs fair to say that their relationship âturnedâ unhealthy and toxic when Juliette changed, or to lay that solely at Julietteâs door by calling her abusive.
Their relationship, whether Nick himself wanted to acknowledge it or not, was over the moment he walked out and left Juliette crying in their living room. While Juliette getting angry at Nick and going to start a fight in a bar (when he forced her to tell everyone before she was ready) wasnât necessarily healthy for her, it wasnât abuse. And while Juliette burning down Nickâs trailer and attacking his friends (when they tried to force a temporary cure on her that she didnât want) wasnât nice and was certainly violent, it wasnât one partner abusing the other.
That doesnât make the situation okay or healthy or goodâŚbut I donât see Juliette fighting Nick and their friends as abuse any more than I see Juliette and Adalind duking it out with their powers as abuse. Itâs violence, to be sure, but it lacks the unbalanced power dynamics and other features that characterize abuse patterns in relationships.
On the other hand, their relationship prior to Julietteâs change did display several patterns of abuse, and they came from Nick, not from Juliette. Their relationship was unhealthy and parasitic from at least mid-season one. Nick used abuse tactics such as gaslighting on Juliette throughout seasons one and two, and repeatedly dismissed or ignored her needs in favor of his own even after she knew the truth and they were supposed to be on the same page. She was VERY supportive of his life as a Grimm, even though she found it strange and often frightening. And as long as she was being unconditionally pro-Grimm, things were fine. But whenever she tried to express her concerns, fears, or misgivings, he brushed her off. He even lied to her about Trubel when she first showed up, near the end of season three.
Where we can agree on the Juliette/Silverhardt front is that Iâm also glad their relationship has ended. I loved them together when the show first started, but things went downhill fast, and the primary victim of that spiral has always been Juliette, even after she became a hexenbiest. Heck, the very existence of Eve is in part a product of the traumas Juliette suffered. The only way I would ever support the two of them getting back together would be if they actually addressed all the problems that led to the end of their previous relationship and showed a definite change in Nickâs treatment toward her. And honestly, given the short order for season 6 and the definite possibility that this will be the showâs last season, I donât see them having time to give the characters the space, time, and healing they would both need in order to remotely approach being able to realistically resolve/resume their relationship issues.
As for your thoughts on Adalind, I think youâre probably right that her mother was abusive and most likely also neglectful. Adalind herself has hinted that her relationship with her mother was an unsupportive one, that her mother was only there for her in death. And the events at the end of season one clearly showed that Catherineâs affection was conditional, based on Adalind doing/saying/being the ârightâ thing. The moment Adalind was a âdisappointment,â Catherine withdrew all emotional support and affection. That is definitely an abuse tactic.
Iâve spent an untold number of words on discussing all the ways in which Nadalind is unhealthy. Unless they eventually reveal that there was some magic going on somewhere, the way theyâve written the Nadalind relationship has been incredibly rushed, unrealistic, and grossly romanticized. Nick shacking up with his rapistâwho has attacked every friend he has at least once, who is the main reason for what happened to Juliette in the first place, and who used the child resulting from raping him to emotionally manipulate him into helping her âis beyond twisted.
And on the other side of it, Adalind suddenly being in love with the man who helped steal her first child from her, and trusting him when he says no one will take her second child, makes zero sense to me. Even disregarding every other bad thing thatâs happened between them, I cannot imagine a mother who loves her childrenâas Adalind clearly doesâbeing willing to even entertain taking that risk with one child after having lost another.
The whole thing with Adalind is very complicated, as you say, and I think part of that is due to some messy writing, honestly. The Grimm Writers do a good job with a lot of things, but Adalindâs arc and ostensible âredemptionâ has not been one of them. And unfortunately, that goes for anywhere her arc intertwines with the other charactersâ as well.
FYeahNickBurkhardt (Tumblr Backup) 